Wiley to the Rescue

Why Can’t I Have the Soggy Pieces of Bread on the Sidewalk?

Mom and Dad, I don’t understand what kind of sick game this is. There are so many soggy pieces of bread on the floor in beautifully diverse shapes and sizes. Yet, when I pretend I’m sniffing out a place to pee and then quickly try to eat it, you gently tug at my leash and go “No, silly, you eat very well at home.”

You know what? YOU’RE silly. There IS such a thing as a free (second) lunch. I guess you’re made of money, though, so it doesn’t matter.

If I was walking you, and there were things YOU liked all over the floor, like medical bills that your insurance was supposed to cover, or a jury duty summons, or a Snapchat filter or whatever, I would let you put them in your pocket.

This system isn’t good for either of us, because you look like a real jerk trying to pull me away and then people shake their heads and go “Oh my gosh that woman has no patience for her dog!” not knowing exactly how much you love me and treat me like an infant child prodigy.

For hoomans who want to help other hungry hoomans, check out these organizations that rescue food, courtesy of your favorite rescue dog——although I still say all the foods should be rescued by my mouth.

Rescuing Leftover Cuisine

Food Rescue

Food Rescue US

Sustainable America

Food for Free

Community Food Rescue

For more amazing dog stuff, check out my philanthropic online Wiley to the Rescue Store. I donate 50% of all proceeds to dog related charities and nonprofits.